Reading the signals

They say that 90 percent of communication is non-verbal.  Mountains of books are written on this kind of communication.  There are books on how to read signals from that special someone.  There are books on how to read your boss or coworkers.  There are books on how to know what your baby is trying to tell you.  And on and on and on...  But I ask you this, have you ever seen a book on reading hand signals?  I have not.

You must know what I am talking about.  Its those signals someone gives you when you are backing up to something.  A little to the left, a little to the right, a little closer...STOP.  Or possibly when you are pulling in to get your oil changed and the attendant is giving you the "a little more, a little more and stop" signs with his hands.  Those I can maybe handle, but living on the farm takes hand signals to a whole new level.

The first problem is when you are reading signals in the rear or side-view mirror.  Everything is instantly backwards and therefore completely confusing.  So if your farmer is twirling his finger in a clockwise manner in the mirror, does that mean to turn counterclockwise?  Add in backing a trailer, where you may need to turn the wheel the opposite way from the direction you want it to go for awhile, but then switch in the middle and maybe back again a little the other way.  The finger twirling is now reaching a fever pitch and...well, I am totally lost just thinking about it.  (This is typically the point where I throw open the door and vacate the driver's seat so the aforementioned farmer can do it himself.  Being completely honest...I cannot back a trailer.  Period.)  Then, there are those obscure hand-waving signals when filling a truck that could mean either slow it down, level it off or lie down.  I never quite figured that one out.

So if anyone ever locates a book on reading hand signals on the farm, please let me know.  I imagine it will be a large volume with lots of caveats since every farmer tends to have his own repertoire of signals, but it should make for interesting reading!